Baby Jaxon Alexander Cordner

Well, It has been a long time since I wrote on here. I always say and think I am going to do better at it and then I don't.. I am sorry it takes months to update this..

Life as we know it is a crazy thing. It has been pretty crazy for Alex and I the last 2 years. We have been through hell and back and still running through fire. Seriously were would I be with out him?? He gives me the strentgh and courage to keep fighting. How lucky am I to be with my best friend! This last week has made me have this deeper greater love and apprecitation for alex. Tuesaday morning my doctor stripped my membranes to try and put me into labor. By the 3:30 I though what the heck lets just go see if I am even dilating. I wasn't really having that many contractions. So I went in to the hospital. They kept me for an hour to watch and my doctor decided to go ahead and keep me. I was dilated to a 6. Now with this pregnancy I have started dilating early.. At my 37 week check up ( I was almost 37 weeks) I was dilated to a 3 and 50% effaced. So I went back tueday for my next visit and I was a GOOD 4. So he stripped my membranes. Anyways so I was dilated to a 6 and he broke my water. They came back like 30 min later and started me on the pit to help bring on more contractions. and then came the epideral. I wasa 7 by the time I got it. They epideral SUCKED. It hurt so bad. And the worst part is it didn't even really work. Well I was on the pit for a totally of 5 min. when out of no where I felt so much pressure and I had to push! Alex's sister was like helping me to just focus and stay breathing. Finally the doctor comes in.. pushed for like 5 minutes. And then My little 6 Lbs 7 Oz Jaxon Alexander was born. It was such an awesome experience. I could feel most of m delivery which made it so awseome.

After Jaxon was born I starting having high blood pressure. So Here I am day 4 of my hospital stay still sitting in bed trying to get it down. They upped my blood pressure medicine so fingers crossed it will really help and I can go home today! I miss my sweet Breanna and my home.

Before they gave my blood pressure medicine, They put me on an IV of Magnesiim Sulafate! I do NOT wish this upon anyone. It knocks you out and you feel like you have NO control over your body. I couldn't walk. My vision was blurred and could foucus my eyes. I did not feel myself and felt like I was going crazy. They finally too my off of it yesterday morning. They put you on it when your blood pressure is supper high and you have protein in your urine. it can cause seziers. But like I said they had to take me off of it. My vision was bad, I didn't have reflexes. I finally feel so what myself now.

This whole thing has been so hard but yet such an amazing experience for me. I have such a great appreciation for things. The Lord has truely blessed me through this and has been there. I am learning to really trust in the lord and know that he is going to take care of me. He is so real! He loves us and wants to be there with us every step of the way! This whole thing is making me a stronger person. The lord has answered my small prayers and has been by my side helping me get through one day at a time. I owe everything to him. He has worked majic on my life the last 2 years. He has helped saved alex and I's relationship... He truely does care and love us. He wants to help us and teach and guide us but we have to let him.. We have to let him into our lives.. My heart is fulled with so much love and graditude. People have been such a big help to use the last few days and have helped out so much.. I am so gratful for the people the lord has put into my life. He knows what we need at just the right time. I owe everything I have to him. without him I am nothing! He helps me get back up and do it again.

I am so grateful for this beautiful baby boy that we have.. He is such a sweet sweet child! I can't wait to see what he adds to our family and what the future holds for us. All I want is to teach my children and to teach them that god is real that he cares and loves us.. That without him we are nothing. it is becuase of him that we have what we do. I want them to know I know them and they can tell me anything. They could NEVER disappointment me.

Well, i am going to go try and sleep and wait for the doctor to come in.. Hopefully I get to go home today! I just felt like I needed to express my thanks to the lord. He has helped me so much the last few days!

LOve you all! Pictures will come soon I promise

cOrDnEr Update

I am so awful with keeping my blog updated. I get on here and have no idea what to write. Lately I have been feeling a lot of gratitude. I am so grateful for Alex. He really is my best friend. I have learned so much from watching him and have found this even greater love for him. He amazes me everyday. The last three months have been so awesome with him. We have found a new side in each other and have really looked at the things we love about each other. I think we finally stopped looking at the bad and started finding the good. It has made the biggest difference. I can't picture life without him. I couldn't ask for anyone better. I would rather walk through fire to be with him and our family than loose him.

I am just grateful for where we are at in our lives. It feels like things are finally starting to let up and we are starting to get out of this hole that we are in. It feels like there are things to look forward to. I have been so so grateful for Alex's parents. We couldn't have done it with out them. Linda is the most amazing women I have even met and I have learned so much from her. She has been my rock to help me get through everything. She has helped me to keep standing and move forward even when it felt like there was nothing to move forward to. They have helped carry our family and I can't thank them enough. They helped keep this family together. I know it hasn't been easy for them and we have put them in bad spots where people talk. Even though Linda will say "Misty I don't care let them talk. I'm doing what the Lord told me. We are keeping this family together." I hope that I can be half the mom she is. She has been the biggest example in my life. The love I have for Alex's family is so deep. They mean the world to me. They have been the biggest blessing in my life. God knew I needed them.

Well, On to a little update. Alex and I found out on April7th that we are having a BOY!! We are bother very excited. Alex is really excited. He has one of each now. I am 21 weeks. So happy to have finally hit the half way mark. I am due August 27th. Seems so far away.

This last week we have dealt with a little tummy flu, so glad to have it done and over with. Mostly to have a happy baby back.. Breanna is doing so good and getting so big. Time goes by so fast. It feels like just yesterday I was in the hospital with her and now she is running around yelling No at me and telling me to be nice. No one warned me about 2 year olds. She is a very Independent girl. She wants to do everything by herself. She loves movies and will watch just about anything. She really likes Princess. She loves to dance and sing. She loves sitting on her grandmas lap reading books. She talks so much now.. You don't always know what she is saying cause she has her own language. She is a very smart kid some times to smart. haha

Here are some pictures that her Aunt Lindsey took of her.. They are WAY cute!!!

SuRpRiSe

I am so bad at keeping my blog up to dat.. I apologize. Well, Alex and I had a surprise on last saturday.. I found out I am pregnant with #2!! It was a shock for the both of us but we are very happy! My due date will be August 27th. Not the fun-nest time to be pregnant during summer.

Things are going pretty good. I am still in school, and loving it.. I go to school on monday and wednesday nights and Breanna stays home with alex. Next Term I will be taking 3 or 4 classes so I will probably be going to school every night.. My term is almost over! I can't believe how fast it is going by.. I am going to miss it. It has help me so much feeling like I am doing something and accomplishing things. I graduate in July sometime. My teachers are all so awesome and teach in away that you understand. It's not a stressful place..

Alex is doing pretty good, still trying to find a job.. It isn't easy finding one right now.. He has been helping one of his sisters lately and has been enjoying it.. Something to keep him busy. HIm and Breanna really have clicked lately.. She loves her daddy and gets so sad when he isn't home. She asks where he is all the time. And he adores her right back.. He gets so happy to come home and hug her.. He really is such an amazing dad.. I am so glad that they are close now..

OH Breanna.. where do I start. That child is a feisty one. She really has started to develop this attitude.. If she doesn't get what she wants she screams and yells at you until you listen or get.. Which never happens lol.. She says no all the time and when she gets in trouble she says WHAT? or WHY? She has started to hit when you tell her no.. she is pretty sassy. She is a smart little girl and understands pretty much everything.. For the most part she is an easy baby, she goes to bed at 7:30 p.m. she hardly ever cry when you put her to bed. She just says nigh nigh and blows kisses. She loves giving hugs and cuddling with her daddy. She loves Baby dolls and carries hers around every where. she loves laughing. She really is a happy baby.. She has brought so much joy and light in our lives. I can't imagine life without her. She amazes me every day. I don't want her to grow up.. I want to be able to give her everything.I want her to know her parents love her no matter what and that they are always there for her. She truly is a gift.

Well, here are some pictures of breanna from a few months ago. Alex's sister Lindsey took them. I think think they are amazing and she really captured Breanna's personality.

Love you all!!! Hope everyone had a merry christmas! I'll put up christmas picture's soon.. Promise!

This makes me laugh!

Classic Breanna face!

Outside, Breanna

The other day we went and played outside for a few. Breanna decided that a diaper and cowboy boots was very appropriate for this. She really has a obsession with shoes, even if they don't fit her. She really has been such a blessing in my life. She amazes me everyday. She is a VERY smart girl, and so good. I Miss her like crazy when i have come home from being gone somewhere. She is my joy and light, everything i do, i do because of her.

Breanna is now 20 months. She loves baby dolls, she loves watching movies, specially disney ones. She loves dancing and singing. If she get in trouble she looks at me and say " what mommies! " She calls Alex "Ale." She can say see ya, bye, mommies,babies,this,eyes,no no, and one of her favorites "uh uh" She LOVES being outside. she likes to go out and see the cows and chickens. Yes we have cows. We have about 5 calfs, and a momma cow. She is a big helper, she likes to help clean up. She always likes to bite and hit the other kids and scream at them if they touch her. She like doing things on her own, Very Independent. Her our some of our pictures from the other day!

BooBoo Bear

So I know these are kinda older pictures but i thought it was better than nothing.. I will get recent ones up soon I promise!!!

Nothing like A cute bundled up baby!

I Love Swinging

I was 13 Months here

FaMiLy PiCtUrE

Back in June Alex's family all go together and we took our big family picture and then we all got our own family pictures. It was way fun to see everyone all together!

Life as you know it

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW.....
I have been awful about keeping this updated. Life has been very crazy the last 5 months. For those that do not know. Nate and I are divorce. Alex and I have gotten back together. I can only imagine what is going through some of your heads. I really had a hard time with this decision just because I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I wanted my family. It wasn't fair to Nate, and I wasn't happy. I feel so awful more than people think or know for how i went about things, let alone getting married. I should have listen to my heart. But I felt so lost and vulnerable, that i looked to everyone else for the answers. I Felt so lost and confused. And when I decided to follow my heart it felt so good but at the same time the hardest thing. I have lost a lot of friends and don't have a lot of family to talk to. A lot of people of talked about me and disagree with things. And that's OK. People are allowed to have their own opinions.I want people to know that i was never upset with how they felt about me getting back with Alex, it was more of how they said things. People telling me i am stupid or if I go out and have a few drinks all of a sudden I am not thinking about my daughter. That hurt because everything I do is for my daughter. She is the center or all my decisions and choices and I would give my life for her.
I have started going back to church again, and this time it is so different. It doesn't feel like a chore it is something that I really want. I see my life change. I am more at peace and calm with myself. I started reading my scriptures and haven't missed a day in the last two weeks. It really does make a difference. I'm gaining so much faith. I am learning to have faith in the lord, that he will help me and never leave my side. I have felt his help and he has answered so many prayers. I have to thank Alex's family.. They have been amazing and have taught me so much about faith and hope strength and courage. They are one of the most amazing families I have ever met. They truly care about people and each other. They are always there to help anyone in need and know hot to pull together in time of need. I finally found my place. I belong some where. I have everything I need thanks to them. I fill forever be grateful for Linda and Dawayne and the love and selfless acts. I am so grateful for Alex's sisters. It's like have 8 older sisters. They are the funniest girls to be around and I can be my self and actually talk deep with them.

I'm finding that life is full of curve balls, and up and downs. It throws so many different things at you some not always easy. I'm finding that you have to take what is even to you and make the best of it, see the good in everything, find what makes you happy and run with it. I'm really starting to be grateful for my hard times, I wouldn't be who I am today if i didn't have them. Threw the hard times you find strength and courage, you grow a little more you find that it gives you hope when you fall again that you can get back up and fight.I am truly grateful for my life, for every breath I take, for every moment I have with my beautiful daughter,For every laugh,for every tear,for every hug and kiss, for every smile.I am finally seeing things clearer. Life really is amazing, we need to cherish every moment with those that we love.I am FAR from perfect but I try to be a better mother, friend,sister,daughter, and girlfriend everyday. I have learned so much but still have so much more to learn and discover. Life is like a journey,you really never know were it will take you.

Well enough of that. lol... I will update a little on my cute little family. Breanna is now 19 months. She is go go go ALL the time. She doesn't stop. She gets into EVERYTHING,She wants to know how everything works. She is a very smart little girl. She understands everything you tell her, when she is in trouble she acts like she doesn't know anything. If you get after her for something she says "Why?" or "What?" she ignores you when you say no or just laughs at you. Ha-ha she keeps me laughing. Lets see oh she loves dum-dums. She can say mom ( and says it all the time.) bye bye,see ya, baba,dad,hi,thank-you,oh and when she wants something she says 'this!" She gives high fives and stones. She LOVES to give hugs, and laughs at her self all the time. She loves reading books and coloring. I can't imagine life without her. She keeps me going. I look at her and I am amazed. She is growing so fast. I love her more than she can ever imagine.

Lets see Alex is doing good. He took his GED test a week ago and got a 98 in math, 100 in social studies and a 100 in reading. I think his over all score was 715. which is awesome for someone who didn't study before taking it and has been out of school for almost 7 years. Seriously the guy is so smart.. I was so proud of him. He finally got done with all his court hirings and is very glad. He just has a lot of classes to take and is on probation for 36 months which more than likely end up being 18 months.. It will be nice when it is all done and over with. He really has been a good sport about it all and has done what he has needed to. I love him dearly and am very grateful to have my family back!

Well this a pretty long and prolly pretty boring blog. I will post pictures I promise!